In my life journey that begins with my family being together with jokes and laughter and joy and sorrow with the family, to support everything I wanted to achieve, they are next to me while I laugh and a shoulder for me to cry on when I'm down. When I determine my will, I hope they're happy with what I've try to make them happy, they're the passion in my life. I leave my family although it sad me to leave them and live without them. It was far distance between me and my family, I choose to go work far distance because I wanted to be independent and support my brother so that he can go to the high school. I feel sad and pain me when I miss my family especially when one of my family pass away I can't go back home and I can't even see them for the last. But when love comes is where I turn to learn to love people as I love certain of my own family but he has been out of the family someone who is sent by God, unwittingly and lack of know correctly and what is true, I only heard it and before seeing with my own eyes. Build trust with someone but behind it falsity he is hiding behind me. Life is still running and then I founded out that I pregnant, there's many feel that I felt happy because I have a baby,scared because I still working and i still want to work, and all this is unplanned pregnancy.
And I decided to keep my baby in my womb. And I got a test or disaster when happiness, sadness, languish, anxiety, hurt, suffering, worry about things I had never experienced and I felt, I finally felt it. Hard time, happy, sad, naturally conceal my laughter from my sadness and pain behind a smile. when someone is trying to know my feelings he said: "Are you ok?" and I replied "yea I'm ok" but cuts and tears that I felt, cover from my sadness with laughter. At the moment I feel I have been in and unfair, I pray to god to give way for me. Then I determine to go but something blocking my way, and I tried to stay on and see if there are changes to keep all promises. But I had to stay patient and I never be separated from prayer to god. God provides a way for me to leave, but God gave me a little happiness for me, memory recall wonderful memories on my birthday. when I left the wounded, sick and crying like I feel, but for the sake of the most beautiful gift I received from god I was excited to live. Because before I wanted to end my life because I was not strong enough to face the trials but I think again if I die who will take care of my baby?but because I love my baby and excited to see him, and I think again; I will live together with my baby I will do whatever it is for my baby and I don't want to separate with my baby. The day I passed, when it is the time to give birth of my baby, I was not with my family they're not by my side not even the father of my child he can't even by my side. I feel so alone but I'm so great to have a friend who can assist me,help me and waited for me outside the operation room. I was dilevery by C-section because my baby has no improve to go on at the opening 3cm, i was inside the operation room alone none beside me that's only my friends who waited for me outside till my operation is done. Risk of my life for my son I submit my body and soul to the heart of god and i do not stop praying. Then god save me and my son and my tears out when I hear my baby's cry. Staring funny face made me happy, god blessed me and my gratitude I speak for the presence of my son, a mistake that I did not deliberately make me cry when looking at him, the loss of someone who was supposed he always there for him but he wasn't there for him. I pray and hope that he will become a good, pious, and noble son. listen my son because I love you very much I keep you and give birth to you, I will protecYou,support you, teach you,guide,hug you and love you and we live and we are happy because god's love.
I give birth to you but you come with no instructions.All I knew was that I loved you long before I saw you. I know I made some mistakes and for that I'm sorry, but I was doing the best I could with what I know. Everything I did for you,I did from love.You're my child,my life,my dreams for tomorrow.I will always love you and there's nothing could ever destroy my love for you.I love you my son
